I was the primary care giver for my Dad for 3 years after my Mom passed away suddenly. Fortunately, I had lost my job around the time they needed to sell their home and move closer to me. We put them in a senior building with no assisted care because my Mom was able to care for him with my help and some nursing care 2 times a week. When my Mom passed unexpectedly after only a year by me, we were panicked as to what to do with my Dad. His biggest fear was a nursing home. We managed to keep him in his apartment with a life alert, 2 weekly nursing visits and a bath lady. We set up 3 daily shifts so that someone was there for each meal and bed time. We found a women who was a godsend, she would come in once a day and give him breakfast and his morning meds and sit with him a bit. He also was a colostomy patient which really complicated his living on his own but we managed. His dementia would have him saying people were spying on him, stealing from him and no one could convince him otherwise. He also had an imaginary friend Buddy who lived under his bed and we had to leave food out for him too. He would get frustrated when we didn't believe the crazy stories he told us but wasn't violent, Thank God. Looking back I don't know how we did it but we went day by day. Thankfully with the money from the sale of their home we were able to pay for help, his ridiculously expensive medicines and the apartment. In the end when the cancer pain got to much to manage at home we had to take him to the nursing home and he was there less than a month before he passed away. I was just so thankful we were able to keep him on his own until the very end. It was a very difficult 3 years but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I had so many long conversations with my Dad and just spending that special time with him meant so much for both of us. Every time I left he would say I love you Honey, and be careful I don't know what I would do with out you. My advice to anyone living with this is get help if you can and treasure the time as it goes by so quickly in hindsight. |