oh wow, you've had one heck of a bad weekend. I'm so sorry you were robbed. I'd be pissed as all hell too.
As far as the cat pee situation, i know exactly what you are feeling right now. My cat (spayed female) will pee on any type of fabric. She's pee'd on my couch, my bed, her bed, morgan's beds, morgan's blankets, and towels and sheets left on the floor by the laundry (clean and dirty). I took her to the vet hoping it was just a UTI when this first started but she was clean. there is no medical reason behind the peeing. Vet said i just had a "dirty" cat
. i wanted to get rid of her too. thoughts of "accidentally" leaving the door open so she could escape ran through my head. I even looked into Maine Coon rescues to see if they had any tips on breaking the habit or to see if they could take her. In the end i couldn't give her up of course and knew that i was just mad. Two years later she'll still pee on things if they are available to her. So while i'm not home she stays in one section of the house with her litter box, food, and water. I try to make sure there is nothing on the floor or in her area that she would pee on. When i'm home i open the kitty door i had installed in my house so that she can have free roam to the areas I am in as well as her area. Since doing this she hasn't peed on anything in my area, but still has peed on sheets/towels someone left by the washing machine. And she's peed on blankets i've left for her to sleep on. (she'll sleep on them for a few days and then after a while she'll pee on them for some reason). I know it may seem like she's "marking" her territory cause she's peeing on all the comfy sleeping/sitting areas, but she'll also pee on random things like a wash cloth dropped in the middle of the floor.
dumb cat
anyway, sorry to right such a long post on your bad weekend thread. Not trying to hijack it. But as soon as i read your story about the cat i immediately felt your pain. Just wanted to let you know how i'm handling our situation. its the only things i've found to work for us.
i hope your luck turns around soon.