here's where i'm at. i know that i would be a great mother. i've always wanted kids someday. sometimes i really want them soon and other days i'm just not ready for the noise, lack of sleep and snotty noses. i like my space too much, and my money and if i never have kids think of all the places i might go and see the world over. but would i miss something? would i miss feeling a baby kick inside or holding an infant i created. i think i would. so yes i'm pretty sure i want children, one or two of them. but i don't want to loose all this freedom and my identity by now being a mother and not just myself. i'm so back and forth about it. my mom wants us to wait 5 years. we'll be married two of them in May but together almost 4 years this valentine's day. so when's the right time. do we wait until we make more money or until our savings reaches a number? do we wait for a feeling to hit us? last night i watched "Life as we know it" and then went home and my husband and i were intimate. in the moment i was tearing up and i said can we just go natural tonight? he didn't want to, he's not ready and he said "you're just feeling emotional after the movie" but i'm not so sure i was. i think that i may have been actually wanting to. i feel secure and stable now in my new job. i have great benefits and a pension plan. i have great insurance. i think i'm finally confident and ready. but he's not. and maybe i'm not really i just don't know. what do you think?? |