[jp4m2]

Jamie, again I'm so sorry your having to suffer through this along side your beloved Meg......On some level I know how you feel. You see in Feb. my precious Jack was diagnosed with kidney disease. Since that terrible day I feel as if I've been in a pre-loss bereavement state. Intellectually I have always known that one day I would have to face this, but now emotionally, I know that day is nearing as to when I'm going to lose my baby. It's something I've always "known," from the day I brought him home -- tucked deeply away in the back of my mind-- but now it's felt.... deeply and painfully.... and now it's reality.

Sometimes I find myself in a state of "pet loss limbo" -- I begin to grieve the loss that is coming, but there is no "closure" to the grief. I can't "get over it" because the loss hasn't actually happened yet. And yet I know that things are only going to get worse before they get better.

Everyday I find myself watching him feeling sad and wondering...... Wondering how much time is left....How is he feeling...Does he know that something isn't *right*.....Will I be able to do say it's *time* for him......Sometimes I just pray for him to pass peacefully in his sleep.....

A couple of years ago I lost another yorkie, Joey. It was totally unexpected....It took about a year for me to be able to talk about him without breaking down in tears. I stayed in bed for about a week......I was totally devastated and heartbroken....My baby was gone.......

My boys are just like my children. I spend 24/7 with them, they are my constant companions and my company, they make me smile everyday, they are always at my side....They are loved and cared for and just plain adored by me......And now, here we are at that terrible, horrific place again, trying to cope in some way with the knowledge that I'm going to lose another one of my a precious babies....I'm not ready for this , and I never will be.......

You have my prayers and I wish for you great courage, strength and wisdom in this difficult time......(((hugs))))