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JamieP · 11-10-2010, 05:16 AM

To those of you that followed my last thread which has been several months ago, my little girl finally gave up the fight on 11/03/10. Sadly, I have another little on, my oldest yorkie, ( she is 15), who is also giving up the fight and will probably be put to sleep today. The vet wanted to put her to sleep 2 days ago and I just couldn't let her go yet. I had just lost my Ciera and I couldn't bring myself to let her go too that soon after losing her. Guys, I beg of you all not to think horribly of me for saying no then. I asked several times if she was in ANY pain and she told me that she wasn't. She said she didn't feel well, but there's no pain. I just needed a couple more days with her. You have to realize that 15 years is a longggg time. She grew up with my children! They have both seen us through so much in our lives and have been the only 'constant' that we've all had. All of this has just ripped my soul apart!!! I have done nothing but cry for days! I'm eating only enough to keep me surviving, (I've lost 7lbs since the 3rd). I'm not sleeping! All I do is hover over my little baby trying to get her to eat, holding her water bowl for her when she wants water, sitting her up to help her when she coughs. I am just devastated!! I honestly am not sure how I will be able to let her go!!! Don't get me wrong, I am devastated over losing Ciera too. I still cry and mourn for her. But in the end, she gave up and the parting, tho extremely difficult, was somewhat easier. Little Meg tho, for whatever reason, wont give up!! Not to mention, she's always been wherever I am, slept with me every night (except for a few nights when she wasn't feeling well and had the 'poops' or was throwing up. Otherwise, she has been stuck to me for 15 years!!! Seriously! I feel like I'm going to lose my mind here at just the thought of her leaving me and I'm turning to you all to give me whatever advice you can.....something!! After her, I have nothing left!!!!!!!! It's going to be like closing a chapter that I've kept open for so many years!! Am I wrong for wanting her here with me??? Do I HAVE to have her put to sleep?????????? Is is wrong of me for not giving her that???? She's not eating and hasn't since day before yesterday. She drinks water and has been getting sub q fluids ( 150cc twice a day) The vet said all of her bun, creatine, phosphorus, etc levels have more than doubled since the 30th of Oct. so she's fading. She's still able to get up and go outside to potty but I have to walk with her to keep her from falling. For the most part, she stays inside on her pallet beside me all covered up. I don't feel she owes me anything, for sure not any pain. It's letting go I'm having issues with. I don't know what I'm going to do without her too!!! Two of my beloved babies gone almost a week apart!!!! Anyone.....someone! Help me!!!

11-10-2010, 05:16 AM	#1
JamieP Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Missouri Posts: 51	I'm so distraught!!!! Please help!!!! To those of you that followed my last thread which has been several months ago, my little girl finally gave up the fight on 11/03/10. Sadly, I have another little on, my oldest yorkie, ( she is 15), who is also giving up the fight and will probably be put to sleep today. The vet wanted to put her to sleep 2 days ago and I just couldn't let her go yet. I had just lost my Ciera and I couldn't bring myself to let her go too that soon after losing her. Guys, I beg of you all not to think horribly of me for saying no then. I asked several times if she was in ANY pain and she told me that she wasn't. She said she didn't feel well, but there's no pain. I just needed a couple more days with her. You have to realize that 15 years is a longggg time. She grew up with my children! They have both seen us through so much in our lives and have been the only 'constant' that we've all had. All of this has just ripped my soul apart!!! I have done nothing but cry for days! I'm eating only enough to keep me surviving, (I've lost 7lbs since the 3rd). I'm not sleeping! All I do is hover over my little baby trying to get her to eat, holding her water bowl for her when she wants water, sitting her up to help her when she coughs. I am just devastated!! I honestly am not sure how I will be able to let her go!!! Don't get me wrong, I am devastated over losing Ciera too. I still cry and mourn for her. But in the end, she gave up and the parting, tho extremely difficult, was somewhat easier. Little Meg tho, for whatever reason, wont give up!! Not to mention, she's always been wherever I am, slept with me every night (except for a few nights when she wasn't feeling well and had the 'poops' or was throwing up. Otherwise, she has been stuck to me for 15 years!!! Seriously! I feel like I'm going to lose my mind here at just the thought of her leaving me and I'm turning to you all to give me whatever advice you can.....something!! After her, I have nothing left!!!!!!!! It's going to be like closing a chapter that I've kept open for so many years!! Am I wrong for wanting her here with me??? Do I HAVE to have her put to sleep?????????? Is is wrong of me for not giving her that???? She's not eating and hasn't since day before yesterday. She drinks water and has been getting sub q fluids ( 150cc twice a day) The vet said all of her bun, creatine, phosphorus, etc levels have more than doubled since the 30th of Oct. so she's fading. She's still able to get up and go outside to potty but I have to walk with her to keep her from falling. For the most part, she stays inside on her pallet beside me all covered up. I don't feel she owes me anything, for sure not any pain. It's letting go I'm having issues with. I don't know what I'm going to do without her too!!! Two of my beloved babies gone almost a week apart!!!! Anyone.....someone! Help me!!!