Friday the 13th
Cop: You know why I pulled you over?
Man: Depends on how long you were following me!
Cop: Why don't we just take it from the top?
Man: Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and *speeding*!
Cop: Is that all?
Man: No... I have unpaid parking tickets.