[lisaly]

This is all so heartbreaking for me to read, and it is what I experienced with Ashley. I didn't understand all of the symptoms at first, and it started very slowly. These are all of the symptoms of Canine Cognitive Disorder. Before I go any further, I want you to know that Anipryl helped Ashley a great deal, so there is hope. It helped most with Ashley's anxiety, and I those symptoms were why I kept questioning her doctor about the quality of her life. We couldn't bear the thought of Ashley suffering, and we needed to be sure that we were doing what was right for her and not us. I held Ashley close a lot, like a baby, to help her feel safe and secure, and I would try that with Alexander. I truly believe she was a happy little girl once we were able to control her anxiety. Ashley loved her daddy, but she cried if I left the room for even a second. I wish I would have known about the bed rails because that was a huge problem for us. She cried if she wasn't on the bed with us, and we had to watch her every second to make sure she wasn't falling off or that she wasn't forgetting to go to the ramp. It was very rare that she was left alone, at most a few hours a month, and our anxiety was through the roof when we did. The Anipryl helped with her getting lost in corners and reduced the amount of pacing. Still, if she was left alone, she would exhaust herself with the pacing. Both her doctor and another doctor at the practice assured me that, because of how responsive they saw her be with me. that I the quality of her life was very good. It's something we agonized over, but there were still a lot of things that made her happy, and she felt safe with us. It completely turned our life upside down, and there was not a second that we didn't worry about her, but I believe we made the right decision for her. Without the Anipryl, I just don't know what we would have done, because the idea of her suffering would have been unbearable to us. I can't express to you how sorry I am that you have to cope with this. We only had Ashley, so we were able to give her the care she needed. My husband was able to sit by side keeping her safe every day until I came home. I am so upset with myself that I didn't mention the subtle symptoms to Ashley's doctor sooner than I did. We had been there several times over a period of a few months, and I just didn't think there was anything that could have been done to help her. My husband had a kidney infection and refused to go into the hospital for a few days because he was terrified, just as I was, that she wouldn't survive it. She was having problems with gas pockets in her stomach, was very needy, and needed medication for it. When he had no choice, he finally relented. Ashley survived it, a little exhausted from it, but it was then that I realized how confused she was when I got home from the hospital. She didn't react the way I expected her to when he came home, and I thought it was just too much for her with him being away from her. I took her to the doctor and described the symptoms. When he told me what it was, what I described were exactly the symptoms of CCD. That was in October. I took her for long walks, many in the middle of the night, and also took her places that she always enjoyed doing, and I think all of those things helped her a lot. If there is anything I can do, or if you just want to talk about this or have questions, I'd be happy to help. This has saddened me so much, and I understand everything you are going through. I know most people didn't truly understand why we centered our lives around meeting Ashley's needs, but we were able to do it, and we completely adored her. I know you feel the same way about your babies. As much as we loved her before she had CCD and I didn't think it was possible to love her more than we did, we grew to love her even more. I don't know if she knew that we were her mommy and daddy, but she knew we loved her, and I know she still loved us.