[Britster]

Ahhh, I am a complete TOTAL mess. I don't even know why. I didn't think this hard with Jackson.

I keep thinking of things in the back of my mind.... these are my main reasoning's I'm freaking out:

I am at my dads house 1-3x a week depending. In the summer, more so than ever. They have 2 dogs over there. Me bringing over 2 more... I don't know. I know my dad would just end up loving the dog because that's how he is. He initially didn't want me to get Jackson either and thought it was a stupid decision. But their dogs aren't the best behaved so he can get really stressed when all 3 of them are there, it can often times sound like a zoo in there (the next minute, he's loving on them, of course). If I brought a 4th over, I think he'd tell me I was crazy. Now when I go to my dads house, I typically always sleep there. It's a 45 minute drive from my regular house across the Bay Bridge of Eastern Shore so traffic is often terrible and it's easier just to stay there. Sleeping there 4 dogs.... I don't know. Sometimes I think maybe I should just make an effort to stay over there more, so Jackson will have buddies more often than not through the week. But it's kind of a far drive for all of the things I'll be doing (school, work, etc) so then again, I don't want to do that. My little brother will be back in school soon, so automatically I won't be over there AS much. Btw, I've already decided with a new dog, he would have to go to a boarding/daycare place when I go away.

I know my dad will continue to watch Jackson for me, but not a new one. So that's an added expense. I started getting worried about finances. To be perfectly honest, I'm not really financially stable. Yes, I've got money. But, I mean, I'm a college student living at home. I can afford Jackson easily, and even I can't, I've always just made it work. That's the thing, I've always just made it work.... I'm sure I'd do that with a second dog, too. And it's not like I'd really be spending much more. Lord knows I spend a month on Jackson what most people probably spend on 3 dogs a month, LOL. But still scares me. If a major emergency popped up, I honestly couldn't afford that. Then I don't know what I'd do. When it comes to Jackson, I will do anything to get him the care he needs, and my entire family considers him family and I have multiple family members who would step up to the plate to help, and I could pay them back, etc.

Basically, when I'm home with Jackson at our regular house (moms)... I totally wish he had another doggy friend to play with. Like he did when my moms dog was still alive. Ya know, everything would have been solved if my mom agreed to getting themselves another dog, LOL. Then Jackson would have a playmate but it wouldn't be my responsibility. They thought about it after their dog died but they're both just not home enough for a dog.

I'm not worried about taking care of two dogs, when it comes to training, feeding, etc. I know I can do that. Because I've done it before... moms dog lived with me when I was home, and would get sooo depressed when I took Jackson over to my dads house. I fed her, she slept in my bed, etc.

Sorry this is getting so long... but as I woke up this morning, with Jackson curled up under my arm, and it was 9:30am, I started thinking about tonight if we have this dog here with us... and how different it would be. Marco does not currently sleep in his owners bed so I'd have to do the crate thing all over again (he sleeps in a crate).

Bottom line, I'm SCARED that I am going to make the wrong decision. I'm positive once he was at home, I'd probably be happy. But I almost feel like I'm making an irresponsible decision by adding a second when technically, I'm not financially ready (I can afford food, treats, clothes, etc, it's the medical emergencies that scare me). I've only had one really expensive vet visit w/ Jackson, and I covered it ($400 might not be considered really expensive to some, but it was for me).

I don't know what happened to me! I was SO ready yesterday and then last night, I just started thinking sooo much. ARGH! I over-think everything. I'm totally crazy, lol. This woman is going to think I'm completely nuts. Maybe yorkie_mama was right, maybe my lifestyle is just not ready for a second dog yet.