I am sorry you are going thru this but at least you know that Emmett will loved and cared for as you would want him to be...and you get to see him as you often as you can.
I know this is very hard on you but this shows just how much you love Emmett as you are putting his well being ahead of your needs. I wish you all the best and am sending you a big hug. Congrats and best wishes in grad school.