YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community - View Single Post

Speed · 07-13-2010, 08:38 AM

Thank you again everyone (I may keep saying it, but each new reply shows how people really do care and I have to acknowledge that).
My wife usually thinks about things at night when she goes to bed, and I usually think about things in the mornings. So for me, the past few morning have been terrible, and for my wife, the last few nights have been terrible (although it's better during the day, it still hurts, just a little less). We just keep saying how perfect she was. We loved EVERYTHING about her. And you just question how you can keep going when you've lost perfection; that perfect love that you spent every day with and thought about all the time.
We've been trying to do things to keep our minds busy, and we went this weekend to ride jet-skis for my mother-in-law's birthday while my mom watched Patrick at home. We read that doing things is good so you're not constantly dwelling, but we still had our waves of thinking about her and how much we’re going to miss her.
We left Patrick alone for the first time a few hours Sunday night, and when we got home he was the most hyper I've ever seen him (like double what he usually is when we get home). It took him a good 5 minutes to finally calm down. I also recorded him with the webcam on my laptop, and the whole time he was standing or sitting on our chair by the window, then he would get down and go somewhere, sniff the door, and get back on the chair. He did that for as long as my laptop had battery power left to record. It makes us want to get him a companion so he's not lonely, but we also know we have to make sure that we give ourselves time to heal to so we can give ourselves fully to that new Yorkie.
My wife and I had our first days back at work yesterday, and it was so hard. We cried on the way there, and just prayed as much as we could and told her how much we love her. We were both zombies during the day, and we got sympathy cards from my 2 aunts in Houston in the mail and read them at lunch. My wife and I cried so much. We have been getting so much support from all of our family. Even though they didn’t see our pups a lot, Pumpkin touched them every time they came over and they all cried with us and have been checking in on us.
When we got home yesterday, we brought Patrick with us to run a few errands. We have been giving him lots of attention, and we once again played with his favorite toy, and I even got to chase him around the bedroom (they loved to go under the bed to hide from us and each other!). My wife and I both seemed to heal a little and have our first night of having an extended period of happiness. We even looked at her pictures without crying our eyes out and could only say how cute and wonderful she is.
Then this morning, it hit again. It’s like we’re grieving in our sleep, because right when we woke up, my stomach was already in knots. I’m back at work right now and doing a little better, but I still get torn looking at her pictures on my desk.
I just keep telling myself that everyone says it gets better with time. When I was in high school, I used to have birds. I had 1 die and had to give another away when I started working, and that hurt. But this is the first pet my wife and I have ever been this close to, so it's the first time we've had to endure a loss like this.

Thanks again to everyone for all the support, thoughts, and prayers.

07-13-2010, 08:38 AM	#38
Speed Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2008 Location: Lafayette, LA Posts: 87	Thank you again everyone (I may keep saying it, but each new reply shows how people really do care and I have to acknowledge that). My wife usually thinks about things at night when she goes to bed, and I usually think about things in the mornings. So for me, the past few morning have been terrible, and for my wife, the last few nights have been terrible (although it's better during the day, it still hurts, just a little less). We just keep saying how perfect she was. We loved EVERYTHING about her. And you just question how you can keep going when you've lost perfection; that perfect love that you spent every day with and thought about all the time. We've been trying to do things to keep our minds busy, and we went this weekend to ride jet-skis for my mother-in-law's birthday while my mom watched Patrick at home. We read that doing things is good so you're not constantly dwelling, but we still had our waves of thinking about her and how much we’re going to miss her. We left Patrick alone for the first time a few hours Sunday night, and when we got home he was the most hyper I've ever seen him (like double what he usually is when we get home). It took him a good 5 minutes to finally calm down. I also recorded him with the webcam on my laptop, and the whole time he was standing or sitting on our chair by the window, then he would get down and go somewhere, sniff the door, and get back on the chair. He did that for as long as my laptop had battery power left to record. It makes us want to get him a companion so he's not lonely, but we also know we have to make sure that we give ourselves time to heal to so we can give ourselves fully to that new Yorkie. My wife and I had our first days back at work yesterday, and it was so hard. We cried on the way there, and just prayed as much as we could and told her how much we love her. We were both zombies during the day, and we got sympathy cards from my 2 aunts in Houston in the mail and read them at lunch. My wife and I cried so much. We have been getting so much support from all of our family. Even though they didn’t see our pups a lot, Pumpkin touched them every time they came over and they all cried with us and have been checking in on us. When we got home yesterday, we brought Patrick with us to run a few errands. We have been giving him lots of attention, and we once again played with his favorite toy, and I even got to chase him around the bedroom (they loved to go under the bed to hide from us and each other!). My wife and I both seemed to heal a little and have our first night of having an extended period of happiness. We even looked at her pictures without crying our eyes out and could only say how cute and wonderful she is. Then this morning, it hit again. It’s like we’re grieving in our sleep, because right when we woke up, my stomach was already in knots. I’m back at work right now and doing a little better, but I still get torn looking at her pictures on my desk. I just keep telling myself that everyone says it gets better with time. When I was in high school, I used to have birds. I had 1 die and had to give another away when I started working, and that hurt. But this is the first pet my wife and I have ever been this close to, so it's the first time we've had to endure a loss like this. Thanks again to everyone for all the support, thoughts, and prayers.