Laura, The only suggestion I could offer to you is patience and praise. In the mean time the only other thing that ever worked for me is the crate. If dh could put up with her crying for a couple of nights maybe she would be comfy in a crate.I had at one time even put his doggie bed in the crate to make him comfy.
I started off by putting our dog in the crate and he messed it a few times but soon got the hang of it. I just make sure soon as he is let out I take him directly outside to the Pee area and tell him what a good boy he is as he is peeing. I know you said the crate is not an option but thats is the only thing that worked for me, Good luck and I hope it works out so you can keep her.
