[nikkipoop]

I just need advice and this is the only place I could think of.

Yesterday I was working and saw my coworker. He asked how I was doing and we started talking. I mentioned Lexi and I started crying AT WORK. I couldn't believe it. He felt bad, hugged me, and quickly changed the subject. He told me "When you love a dog, it becomes a person so of course it's going to hurt".

I really miss my Lexi. My boyfriend does too but I don't want to talk about it to him. I know he's hurting and I don't want to salt any wounds. Since losing her, I am constantly looking up Yorkies.. Reading about puppy mills, breeder's sites, Reviews on breeder's sites, AKC site, and breeders around Chicago.. I noticed people walking their yorkies now. I even calculated how much money per month I have to save to maybe get a male yorkie (no one will replace the girl she was). There's a hole in my heart and I feel so lost on how to fill it..

I guess what I'm trying to say is am I being a little "crazy" here? Should I try to occupy myself with things so I don't think about her as much as I do? Should I even be looking at other potential yorkies even though I've no money to get him? Is this helping me or hurting me? ~sigh~ Sorry.. Like the title, I really don't feel like myself..