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Old 05-26-2010, 04:35 PM   #7
jenn1381
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Barrie, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 427
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I'm so sorry. Alzheimer's is an awful disease.. it rips away souls. My family took care of my grandma until the end. I moved with my parents at 19 yrs old across the county (essentially) to help. It was the most difficult 7 yrs I have ever had and I hope to never have again - but I would not trade one single second of the time I had with her for anything in the world.

My advice for you is this:

Don't rush them as far as the moving in goes. This is typically a very slow disease, and it could be some time before that is necessary. She is going to want to retain as much of her independence as she can for as long as she can. It's important for her own well being to be allowed to do whatever she wishes as long as it's safe to do so. We stepped in once my grandma started forgetting to turn off the stove, etc.

LAUGH! Some of the things my grandma would say would just be downright hilarious. She stayed with us and one night as we were going to bed she says "Help yourself to anything you want in the fridge". I said "Thanks grandma, I planned on it - this is my house"! lol. I laugh about that all the time even now. Savor the funny stuff, even though the reason she's saying them is not at all funny.

Talk about it. As a caregiver, you're going to feel like there is no one out there who understands. It's so painful to watch that it's easy for caregivers to get depressed. I felt like Alzheimer's was like a slow moving cancer (ironically, cancer was what took her from us in the end). YOU'RE going to need support.

Be patient. You're going to have to dig down deep and find a LOT of patience. You're going to be repeating yourself a lot. There's good days and bad days... we had a lot of bad days.. but we tried as hard as we could to always answer her questions as if it was the first time she had asked. We're human and got frustrated sometimes... all you can do is do your best.

DO NOT let doctors tell you that any odd symptoms are part of the Alzheimer's. We thought for a year that her Alzheimer's was progressing (very fast) as that's what the doctor's kept telling us.. it's the disease. It was not, it was cancer that had run rampant because no one would do the necessary tests, they all just chalked it up to the Alzheimer's and moved on. This is typical of Canada's health care system, not sure where you live - but I still felt it was worth mentioning. Had we pushed for more tests instead of trusting her doctor's, she might still be with us today.

Feel free to PM me your email address if you ever need to talk. I've done a ton of research and know a lot about the disease... I also know what it feels like to watch it progress. I'd be happy to lend an ear when you need one.
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