For some reason, I broke down after work today. I was struggling to get Layla's crate into my car and I thought, why did this happen to ME? Why to my dog? Why when she is so young? We went to pick up Scott from his work and I couldn't drive home. I know it stresses him out when I'm like that, but he told me I just need to accept that it happened and I need to love her for who she is now, even if it's not exactly who she was before.
When we got home, I called my parents hoping I'd get some encouragement and support but they were hard on me too. My mom told me maybe I should spend more time with Scott so he doesn't get upset and leave me!
And my dad said the words "Maybe you should just think about letting her go"
I said NO WAY. She still has life. He said it's taking a toll on MY life but I thought, why is my life more important than hers? He also said the same thing could have happened to a real son or daughter and I said "That's exactly what she is to me" ." When I got off the phone I marched upstairs where Scott was sitting with Layla in her crate beside him, and I sat on the floor and looked face to face at Layla and told her I will never give up on her
What my dad said came across as mean but it's what I needed... either buck up and deal with it, or let her go. I need to deal with it.
She slept in her crate while Scott and I did some computer stuff, and all of a sudden she jumped up on her front feet and started dragging herself out of the crate. I tried to put her back in but she clasped on to my arm, and struggled to keep pulling herself out. She got onto my lap, collapsed, and put her head on my chest and just looked up at me until she fell asleep. She just needed some mommy cuddle time. And I really needed some Layla cuddle time.
Scott is taking her off my hands for the next couple of hours so I can go to sleep. She'll probably be sleeping in her crate beside him. I have to wake up at midnight to give her medication so it's tough to sleep after that if she's awake. Some extra sleep before that will really do me good. My eyes are so puffy I'm amazed they still open.