Quote:
Originally Posted by DerbyLayne  Yes sex.
Mostly because I have lost interest in it for, what seems like, a really long time and it's causing some conflict in my marriage. I have seen a counsellor regarding past issues, and while it helped me to change my attitude about sex and love, it didn't change the amount that I want to have sex. I can dream about it, but I never feel like having it. My hubby just told me that it started to go downhill as soon as we got engaged, although I swear it didn't. Thoughts? Advice? I'm a month shy of 30, and I love my husband very much. I want to want sex more, but I don't know where to turn with this issue. |
honest opinion here - (Sorry this is long !) but only cause I've been there & done that...in a marriage or relationship we all have to make concessions -
I admit to many times not being in the mood - but also have had a great life regarding sex - I lived with someone for 3 years and it was the greatest relationship as far as desire - but as people age - or have kids - health issues - that drive can either go up or down -
they SAY women reach their peak much later in life and I have a hard time believing that - BUT - to keep a happy marriage you have to make the effort - it could really turn into a conflict that a man will resent ....
so my peon advise is to - take the time to be involved. Take the time to try to see it as
a part of a relationship -it isn't all marriage is about & can be much more important to your partner than you ....but you don't want to push him away even if it isn't something you feel like doing.
Sometimes it's the little things to keep a good relationship going and if one partner is holding back (medical reasons don't apply to what I'm saying) - the other partner is left with a void.
I'm widowed now - even miss those times where it was more of a chore than for enjoyment - for whatever reasons but I always tried to make him happy. Look at the big picture - it's only a small part of your everyday life and can easily become a BIG part if put on the back burner.
We all get busy - tired - not in the mood etc - but it can hurt your relationship badly if you aren't on the same page regarding intimancy.
to men - it's a major major part of life......you don't want to jeopardize a good life when it can be easily remidied.....
my advise is do whatever it takes to keep your relationship on a good level and even those times you really dread it - it's only a few moments of your life and IMO can only help you in the long run.
Men will easily look to others - women too ....so hopefully you can try to look at it more positivily and in turn - maybe you won't feel so un-sexy. If a man loves you - you're already in a good place.....If he loves you and is frustrated - you could end up in a bad place..
edited to add to my novel - even men in happy marriages will 'cheat' but your chances of keeping the trust and love will be less likely if he feels wanted.