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Originally Posted by LuvMyPuppE  i don't understand why people want to adopt children from other countries in the first place when there are so many right next door that need a home, but that's just my opinion.
sort of like everyone sending money to earthquake victims overseas, but so dead set against giving a dime for healthcare right here at home.
oh well -what can ya do? |
Have you ever tried to adopt in the US? Not being smart in asking this. Ask anyone who has tried or went through a US adoption and then chose to adopt internationally and they will tell you. I will tell you. Because (Atleast in NJ) they have something call foster adopt program. This is where social services know you want to adopt the child you'll be fostering and they attemp to place you with a foster child they think will be available for adoption. HOWEVER, you can have this child in your home for 17 or more months while the state attempts to rehabiliate the mother and then if the state feels that the mom is now rehabiliated they will come to your home and remove the child you've nurtured for all that time and then give that child back to the natural mother so she can ruin him or her again. Do you think it's fair to he child who now has a loving home? I don't. I think the child should come first, but sadly it doesn't work this way in our country.
Sorry, do not mean to sound so abrubt but I feel when a parent screws up and beats a child, uses drugs, etc and this child suffers such neglect that that parent has lost it's right to re-obtain custody. All of this means that you can have a foster child from birth and have this child one, two or even three years and that child knows nothing but you, yet the state has the right to come in and take this child away from the only home he or she knows and give him or her back to it's natural mother.
This is why people choose to adopt internationally, because once that child is put up for adoption, papers work completed and child obtains visa to come home it's a done deal. The birthmother has then lost the right to change her mind.
And, if you adopt privately in the US it's not that much better. The birthmother still has a right to change her mind (After paying all her birthing fees, agency fees, homestudy fees etc.) and there is nothing you can do, including asking for reimbursment back so the adoptive parent is then not only has the hearbreak of having to give the child back or not getting the child but they are also out all that money.
This is why people choose to adopt outside the US. I have two internationally adopted children. I researched our country, had our fingerprints done, Social Services in our home and was approved and ready to be placed until I realized that I could have this child for years and have someone take him or her back.
If you want more US children adopted then people need to write for changes that will protect he child and not the birthmother. Anyone can father a baby or give birth but the real mother or father is the one who is there for the child and who loves that child.
Elaine