Originally Posted by jrsygal37  I'm a mom to two foreign born children. My oldest was perfect in every way. My younges son came to us at almost a year old. We were not told about his health issues, or that they suspected he was retarded. The first week we had Nick, we almost lost him. He was constantly sick for the first four years of his life. He didn't walk or talk until after three years of age. I knew something was wrong but we could not figure out what nor could the doctors. At four years old a pre-school teacher familiar with something called Asperger's came to me and said "I think your son is Autistic." When you think of Autism, you think of the worse case scenario, but there are different forms and Asperger's is one of them. At five years old after going to two specialty hospitals, and a whole bunch of specialists, Nick was officially diagnoed with Asperger's ( A mild form of Autism). Quite honestly, as I look at these years the first thought that came to mind was he was retarded. Not true. We were surprised to learn that Nick was functioning on a genius IQ level. I worked countless hours to teach him, basic things like how to make eye contact when he's talking, how to get out of the way of a car when it comes, how to know when someone is mean and how to respond back. Simple things that seem to come so easily for children were a struggle for Nick, yet give him high school math, science etc. and Nick could perform all of it at the age of five, yet could not tell you why he knew how to do it or how he got his answers. He just knew.
Nick is now, almost 14. He has no trace of Autism. He's got a black belt in Karate, a straight A student (Main Stream) in gifted classes. Is a starter on the school baseball team, as well as a starting catcher/2nd baseman on a championship travel baseball team. He competes all of the country with his team. Has many friends and is for the most part outgoing, but still carries just a slight shyness about him.
The point I'm trying to make is that many of these children come home with issues, but with patience and love and good food and medical care I've seen personally that these children can turn around.
It saddens me to see when an adopted parent sends their child back. After all, if you gave birth biologically what would you do with that child if he did not turn out as you expected? To me when you adopt you are taking that child as your own.
I could not read the story, but even without reading you would think that they would have at the least placed him with social services right here in the US rather then send him back to Russia. Anyone that has gone through a foreign adoption or has been to the countries to see how the children live know what his outcome will be. I know in the country I adopted from, once a child is fully adopted there is no turning back. If you change your mind that child is doomed. He'll live his entire life in an orphanage and in Russia, more then likely will be placed with mentally disturbed children. Most even prior to adoption are all placed together and this is why the children come home as they do. It's very very sad.
In ending I would just like to say that although I think it was a terrible thing for them to do, not tell us how sick Nick was or that they suspected him to be retarded. I am thankful for not knowing, because had I known it then things could have turned out much differently and maybe we would not have Nick now. And, that would be our loss because we could not ask for a better son. I've been blessed with two perfect boys in every way.
Elaine
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