I already had to deal with the death of my first yorkie Stormy. It was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with. I really can't remember crying more then that day when I came home to find my sweet little Stormy's lifeless body. It was very hard for me because my fiancee had called me and told me that Stormy was having a hard time breathing and to hurry home. I was across the city it took me about 15-20 mins to rush home with my mom, she has a mustang and she was driving fast. Thank God I wasn't driving or I would of probably had an accident. I just remember getting this weird feeling in my gut but I just kept praying that it was some sick joke my fiancee was playing on me.
Stormy had been fine 5 hours earlier when I had left my house. I had cuddled with her on the couch and I was going to bring her with me when I left to drop my car off at the mechanic's but at the last minute I said I will leave her home, I wasn't expecting to be gone 5 hours otherwise I would of brought her. I wish so badly that I had brought her, maybe she wouldn't of died.
When I got home and burst through the door I could just hear my fiancee in the bathroom saying " breath Stormy, comon girl ", I went into the bathroom and he had her on the counter doing CPR to her. I just touched her body and she was lifeless, I just said to my fiancee " She is gone, leave her be now "
It was too late she was gone and I didn't even get to say good bye to my baby
I know my fiancee tried what he could, he was doing CPR the whole time from the phone call to when I got there. I just took her into my arms and wrapped her in her blanket and balled like I have never balled before. I just kept crying that I couldn't even breath asking WHY, WHY did you have to go? I was so angry that I was screaming at my fiancee calling him names because I didn't know how else to react. I held her for about half hour maybe less until her body was stiff that I couldn't bare to hold her anymore like that. My mom took her and put her in a box wrapped up and brought her to be buried.
My baby had what I believe was a seizure and never awoke from it. She was known to have seizures from stress. This was a monday and that Saturday and Sunday I had worked about 12 hr days each, I usually brought her to work in the office but I had to work on the boat after the office and wouldn't of had time to bring her home. So she stayed home. I didn't get to spend any time with her that weekend and Monday's cuddles were very short. I think she may of felt that I had left her again like I had left her at the vets for more then 3 weeks when she was ill.
Sorry for the long story but the point is that. It was so painful and heart breaking for me to deal with it, it was so much worse then I could imagine. I was a mess for a while I couldn't eat or sleep. Finally though I opened my heart again to Lola and she has brought so much joy to me I really believe Stormy sent me a healthy baby to make me smile because even though Stormy and I shared lots of love and smiles, it was even more hurt and heartbreak with her constantly sick in her short life. Now I have two wonderful yorkies who don't replace my baby who I still miss dearly, but they do help the pain.