Gen, I have a million things to do but had to check on your notes to see if you are reunited yet. After reading about your daughter I will just try to make this short as possible. Being new may have to send a couple of replies as I don;t know how much space I have. But this is my story, I am 70 years old but my 3 children were son 15, dau. 13, dau. 11, in 1980. I heard sirens and then learned a little 2 1/2 year old little girl is missing from her front yard. Our area is safe! We are in above average income, small ranchettes. Big strawberry land, etc... WE THOUGHT...The nest couple of days were long waiting to hear if she was found safe. She was found mutalated beyond recognition of being a child and her accused (later convicted) had a string of 150 previous child victims. Including his then wife's children from previous marriage. Our glorious system had released him as a model cured from our mental health system in Ca. My education began on that day about molestation of children... One of the recent cases we worked on then,. Rodney Alcala has been in the national news. That how long these insidious people can tie up our court systems here in Ca. Our state's attorney general, soon to run for Governor again was our governor then. JERRY BROWN!!!!HE AND A GROUP OF HIS LIBERALS had created a screeen for these molesters to hide in the mental health system. A big revolving door that left our children wide open for these people to prey upon.!!!Long story short.... at this time I had done nothing to give back to our community except the usual things at schools and Job's Daughters and Rainbow Girls. This just shocked me into beginning a grassroots movement "SLAM",(Stronger Legislation Against child Molesters" and putting on hold a VERY lucrative career in Real Estate. My kids said they were supportive as was my husband. At that time I thought , My husband had agreed to do whatever it took on his part to be both parents until this ended in our changing the laws in Ca relating to offenders. (it is spoken about freely at this time) but 1980 it was still secretive. It was a real uphill battle. But again short story is after 2 years of traveling the state and helping others to begin chapters in Ca and other states, sitting in state capital meetings until all hours of the night and meeting with all the high yuckie,yucks in the news I never hoped to even see let alone speak to from our state politicians.,legislators, news media,etc. We were instsrumental in passing 4 bills that took these fiends out of the mental institutions and into the prison system. Changing the way the sentences were calculated and causing names to be put into a state systems alerting everyone as to their being the predators they are. Then the real work began on helping my 13 year old adjust. She had needed me terribly during this time and I was busy. My husband still had a job and he did not notice her needs either. She just went into her shell and suffered lots while I was not there for her. We had to go to therapist and took a long year to get things understood and her participating in life a gain. I just thought I would throw this out for at the time I remember thinking they were all old enough to handle me not being there but for her it did not work. For my other 2, it was ok. They fully understood and no problem. Just make sure dinner was on table for them..... I hope things work out for you. Talking helps. I was to busy to see the change in me. I was so tired and always stretched to the absolute end that I never made time for her or saw her needs. My heart was hurting for all the victims out there and I suppose I made her a different victim by not giving her what she needed. We just get consumed and it is no one's fault it is just life. Sometimes it just takes a little wake up call and I will say this, It would have been to hard for my daughter to say anything for she knew how important these children were. She would not put herself in front of them. Your daughter is doing good to reach out and say something to you. Maybe you both can discuss how you both miss Cookie and how badly you would feel if someone took her from you, how unbearable it would be and you would never give up until she was back home,. I feel she needs to know she is important to you at this time. She is needing you in her life, who knows what is happening and this can open the door for those discussions... At 13 I thought mine was so grown up as she acted that way but it is a balancing act and they are just learning how to be a grownup.... SHE IS STILL YOUR BABY inside. They want to be so grown up and still at the same time the baby.... Confusing for us parents... Oh I hope this goes thru.I tried to keep it shortl Jessie
Love and hugs & prayers to all. I have been there , sort of. Jessie |