I can see you have gotten this a lot, but I'm truly sorry for your loss. It's so rough losing a pet, especially when they've been a part of your life for 12 years. I had a dog for 15 years - I got her when I was 3 and she died when I was 18. She was the dog in all my childhood memories, and losing her was incredibly difficult. I get sad now and again, but I mostly like to remember what a good time we had together. It will get better, trust me...and if you need to vent, vent! It'll make life easier if you get feelings out that you need to
You and your little one are in my thoughts and prayers.