Happy New year to you as well.
I agree with a lot of what you have said. I also want to say that if you go onto an open forum, you will need to develop somewhat of a "thick skin". I don't mean that you need to take "bashing" from anyone, but once it is put out there on the web, the person will get opinions and "what if's". There is no way to keep people from voicing their opinions, experiences and knowledge--good or bad.
I agree that people need to back off on some on some the threads, but unfortunately, written responses will never convey how the post should sound. My part in keeping out of the drama is to not post on controversial threads. There have been many people who have done the same.
Unfortunately, fortunately, everyone has an opinion, what people choose to get out of a post is totally up to them. The only thing that we can do as a community is to not add to the fire by continuing to post on threads that get so heated. It doesn't do any good for anyone. That's my way of dealing with threads of this nature.