[MeganS]

Thank you Patti for this thread.

I thankfully have not lost a close relative very lately. But Christmas always hurts when I think about my Grandma. She died on Thanksgiving day in 2001. I was 8. Every Christmas eve, my family would go over her house. The pain has almost completley been replaced with fond memories...but there are times where it's like she died yesterday. It's not so much the time when I'm thinking about her and remembering her that hurt...it's the times where I forget that she's gone that hurt. I know it seems funny to forget that she's gone, as it's been over 8 years now, but the wounds are still that fresh when they come to the top of the mind.

My cousin Lynn's husband almost passed away a few months ago. He suffered a major heart attack and "died" twice on the ER table, they were able to shock him back to life both times, and he is now fully recovered. But last night when I was going to Mass with her she was saying how she was thinking while wrapping his gifts about how different this Christmas would have been if the circumstances had been even a smidge different and they couldn't have saved him.

Despite the pain that we all feel around the Holidays in mourning of lost loved ones, I still like the fact that they are at the front of our memories around this time of year. I sometimes worry that I push those that I've lost too far to the back of my mind...like I'm forgetting about them...the Holidays just help me remember that I'm moving on, but they're still very much in my heart and mind.

and with my mom being sick with this mysterious disease...of course "that" thought has crossed my mind this Christmas. I really pray that 2010 is her year and they are able to help her...but it still crossed my mind.