 No perfect families
I have heard a few people that all they can talk about is how perfect their childhood was and what a perfect family they have. I've come to the point in life where I figure they are either fooling themselves or trying to fool everyone else. No one has a perfect family life, some are just worse than others. For those of us who grew up with bad parents, we are stronger for it. Even though it hurts, we have stood up to the pain and loss and have done what we needed to to protect ourselves and our kids.
My parents never knew that I had an abusive marriage, I just couldn't bring myself to admit that I made that big of a mistake. My ex was such a con that they probably wouldn't have believed me anyway. Until after 13 years it came to do I kill myself or him? I called my mom and finally told her, she agreed to help me, my kids needed their mom. Apparently not as much as she thought they did! It hurts to hear them say that they think I was a bad mom, they don't remember me protecting them from a drunken
sadistic father. I have given up trying to explain to them, all I can tell them is that they never went one day without a mom that loved them. Some kids can't say that. I have learned a lot of lessons in life and am blessed that my 3rd marriage is to a wonderful guy who I know loves me and would never hurt me. If my kids can't deal with that, it's their problem, I am always here for them. My husband has kids and grandkids that I adore and they are so good to me. It's hard sometimes to understand the way things work. I guess we aren't suppose to understand, we are suppose to learn from this life. I have learned and I know for sure that I have lived previous lives, but I also know that this life will be the last. When it's time to go home to the other side where there is no anger, no violence, no lonelyness only unconditional love and peace, that's where I am staying. God bless you all for everything you have endured. It's a tough way to learn but it's what we chose and we must fulfill that life. |