[MizMaRLeysMoM86]

My mom and dad were never married, she was 21 when she had me. I later learned she had gotten pregnant at 16 and her dad made her get an abortion. My grandmother said she never forgave my grandpa for making her get one. Everyone in my family tells me how she would go out and party and leave me with my grandparents. My grandma is my hero. She raised me alot. My mother ended up meeting a man named Rusty. She got pregnant with my brother by him and got married.Before my brother was born I was Rusty's pride and joy. Once Jake ( my brother) came, I was like they say " the red headed step child".. only I was the blonde headed step child. I always came second. Jake was mommas little boy. My grandma got onto her and Rusty all the time about treating me like a second class citizen but it didnt matter. Well they got divorced and then got married again within about 2 years. They were into drugs and alcohol during my childhood but I was so young that I just thought they were naturally mean people. I always got the material things I wanted just like my brother but the emotional relationship was absent.

They ended up getting divorced again and it was pretty nasty. My mother of course got me ( my dad was never around ) and Rusty got Jake. My mother is an alcoholic. She fought in court to get weekends with my brother only to go out and get drunk and leave me to babysit him. I ended up in foster care at age 17 and stayed until I was 18. I have had an on and off relationship with me mother. My brother refuses to talk to her to this day. My ex-step father was killed in a car accident this past may and still, my brother won't talk to her.

To this day I will only call my mom if she has sent me a card to say thank you. I don't like talking to her. She goes through men like toilet paper and is a user ( gold digger ). While I was living with her in my teenage years she would come home with a different man every other weekend and I heard alot of things you don't really want to hear your mother say ( sexual things ). One time this man she brought home was so drunk he came out of her bedroom naked and was peeing all over himself. It was disgusting.

So all in all, I am so glad my grandmother was there to support me. I never got any support from my mother. I call my grandma at LEAST once a week to just check on her. I found the love from a parent in her. She will even tell her friends she feels like I am hers. So what do I have to say about all of this? God put me through all of this for a reason. I am sure of it. It made me stronger and built my character. I know what kind of a mom I don't want to be. I really don't want children. I think my childhood has alot to do with it. I was always being tossed from mothers to grandmothers.... but hey I am still alive and kicking. Married, awesome husband and two beautiful dogs. I am blessed no matter what my past is!

Sorry for rambling... just want you to know you are not the only one out there! Take care and PM me if you ever need anyone to talk to !