I am in tears right now... as i posted earlier i got accepted into teh teacher credential program, but which program i will eventually take depended on my fiance. I want to do an internship, but my fiance doesnt make enough to support us during the time i will be full time in the classroom, we were holding out for him to get a salary position which will make the internship possible...
My fiance and i talked abotu it today and i really really wanted to cry right then and there, but i held it in until he left for work. . . Apparantly the one position that he applied for someone else applied for as well.... someone who is "in good" with the district manager and the manager at that particular theater. So chances are he wont get it. There are a few other positions opening at the theater my fiance works at now: but not immediatly. I need to let the admissions know my decision like YESTERDAY. If my fiance was given some guarantee (in writing) that he would be made a salary manager by february we would be ok and i would feel confident in taking the internship.
Ok, so far you have figured out that my decision here doesnt mean crap. My fiance is the one holding all the cards. and i am NOT ok with this. From a young child i have been extremely independant and to have my future ride on teh decision/action/outcome of someone else is killing me. I feel that if i were in his shoes i would be more assertive and talk with his manager abotu his future prospects ect... much more: if i were in his shoes i feel that i would have ALLREADY GOTTEN A SALARY POSITION A LONG TIME AGO. . . It is frustrating to me because these people treat him like a doormat that they can walk all over. . . He has been with the theater for five years and has been passed over for promotion more times than i can count. Last time they gave the position to a guy that is unqualified (can not close box office, can not do A LOT OF THINGS that he should be able to do... and my fiance does these things but he got passed up
)... now back to my point, our future rides on my fiance getting this job and with past events it seems utterly hopeless. I'm sorry, i just feel so lost this is something that i really want (that i need) and it is not up to me. I cant help but feel bad that i blame my fiance for not being assertive enough, or not trying hard enough, ect.