Just thought I should copy and paste what I wrote in the other thread for people lighting candles for Cookie. Today was a little hard on me again. I really thought I was calm for good.
Thank you all, I will be relighting a few candles from his furbrothers and sisters and us.
I dont know what God has planned for this. If he comes home before Christmas, you guys can only imagine how my house will be that day.If I get a call a year from now...I will still rush there in a heartbeat. I have been calmer and have been able to sleep now. I still feel a buildup of tears and then they go away. I think what gets me by is the thought that he is on a trip and I just dont know when he is due to return so its like I'm waiting.
At this moment I cant think that this is final. I wanted to be able to be with him until he took his last breath and even then I'm sure it would hurt like crazy. Writing this hurts so bad that I'm just crying my eyes out right now.
My prayer is that whoever has him will love him as much as I do. It's difficult to imagine anyone else loving your baby as much as you do.
Today the Christmas tree box is opened and on the floor. We will decorate it.
I dont know for the life of me what I should do with his Christmas Stocking. I have stockings for all our furbabies. I cant hang his up, its just the sight of it that will make me cry. For now all the furbabies stockings will stay in a box.
I havent had a breakdown like I am right now and I need to let it out.
Thank you all for the prayers and keeping us in your thoughts.
(((hugs))) to all your babies and your families
Gen |