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Originally Posted by DerbyLayne  I think this is an unfair statement about married couples.
When you're married, it's not about "me"- it's about "us". ALL decisions that involve both parties should be made TOGETHER. As much as it seems unfair when someone says "no", and you want to pout about it and think you know best, (no matter what decision, whether it be about a dog, the color of the living room, that new couch) I think it's not an equal marriage if you go do something without running it by each other first.
Of course this doesn't apply to everything, but getting a dog is a major decision. I don't care how much the one person wants it, if the other is saying no- RESPECT that decision. Talk it out, and maybe eventually you'll agree to get another dog in the future.
When you're married, you don't always get what you want. Sacrifices have to be made so that there is harmony in the house. Pouting and being sad over a dog, isn't reason enough to fight or go ahead and "do it anyway".
It's selfish to think that you're the only opinion/one that matters in the household and what you say goes.
I personally don't think it's right when one person has more control over the decisions and doesn't include the other one in one them- you're MARRIED, WELCOME TO "It's not all about YOU!" |
I totally agree. My marriage hasn't lasted 28 years because I let him boss me around, but because there is mutual trust and respect for each other.
My husband had a certain upbringing, and was totally oposed to having a dog in the house. As much as I disagreed with this, and having an upbringing where we always had pets in the house, I gave in and excepted that the time was not right for a yorkie. I did it out of respect for his feelings and not because I could not think for myself, or I let him boss me around.
He would not do anything I was strongly oposed to either.
Other times we have to compromise. It is a give and take.
A dog is a major decision. A commitment that will last 15-18 years (if you are lucky). It also changes the dynamics of a family, just like a child would.
Personally, I wouldn't put the "want" for a dog over my family life or my marriage. Now that I have Bonnie, she IS part of my family (the daughter I never had. LOL). A part that both my husband and myself have decided together to add.