[capt_noonie]

Originally Posted by alisonJ

You are being too hard on yourself. If your husband cheated, why would you automatically assume that YOU failed in some way or lacked something? Your reaction is not unusual, by the way. Why do women do this???? What is this self-loathing that women have? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!

And why are women so quick to hold a grudge against another woman, a woman she may not even know, and yet forgive the man who is supposed to love and honor her???.


look at it this way....if you clawed out the eyes of the other woman, would that make things better between you and your husband? Of course not. Because the problem is not the other woman--the problem is your husband.
He will just find someone else to cheat with.

Men are not stupid, nor are they defenseless against the wiles of an attractive, seductive woman. I think some men would like women to think this, because it takes away their accountability, and puts all the fault on the evil temptresses....women. If a man cheats, he is doing it because he has chosen to do so. Plain and simple.

fyi, this does not mean I think women should go out and have affairs with married men. I would never recommend that because it is a waste of time, and very rarely do such relationships lead to committed, stable relationships. The woman usually gets hurt and feels used, and the man is not available to be with her when she might really need him to help through a tough time, etc. AND a man who will cheat on his wife will later cheat on his mistress. Rule of thumb: Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Totally agree.

I am one of the few who agree with you on this stance. People often ask me why I let my bf go out without me, or go hang out with female friends who I may or may not know. the reason is b/c why should I be jealous of those other girls? Why should I be jealous of someone who is lesser than I? Why would I get mad my bf is hanging out with a girl when I know he has no intention of wrong doing? The extra female attention is good for his ego I think. He knows where the line is, but truth is, the happier he is, the happier I am.