[jenn1381]

I am so sorry for what you are going through.. I was faced with thoughts of the same decision in August... Oliver kept having bouts of throwing up, and then he began to throw up blood. I got home from work one day to find blood all over my basement (and white carpet, ugh). It was the scariest sight I have ever seen. Ollie is a puppy mill rescue, so I expected some health issues. But I never expected 3 ER visits in under 2 months. I began to consider surrendering him back to the rescue group, which broke my heart and sent me to my knees, just the thought of it. I never did get a diagnosis, and he hasn't been sick since August other than throwing up bile once. I changed his food and that seems to have made a difference. But, who knows what the future will bring. Thankfully my contracted job looks like it will become permanent, so should something happen I will be better able to deal with it.

I can't even imagine how you feel, having to have actually go through with it and give up your baby. I spent many nights on the phone with friends in tears, saying I can't lose him, he's all I have. I guess in the end, I was and am ready and willing to do whatever it takes for him to be happy and healthy. I just pray I can continue to provide those needs for him. I think you likely made the right decision, I just wish ER vets didn't put us in that position. Things are far more expensive than they need to be. It's so easy for people to say that we need to be ready for emergencies, have $ set aside, and I agree with that - but in today's day and age, things are changing daily, people's situations are changing and money is disappearing.

I hope there is a way you can get her back... the fact that you were willing to let her go shows how much you love her.