thanks all for your kind words; it's really been so hard; i can't bear it anymore; all i do is hold her shirt and cry. i had to hold her shirt last night so i can sleep.
i wanted to go there and give them her favorite toy and bed; but i called twice and they put me on hold adn never came back. i guess i have no more rights.
until finally i called again and told them that i would like to give them her vaccine history, so she doesnt get over vaccinated; they told me to fax it; i told them i dont have a fax, so they said to drop it off tomorrow. then i asked that i would like to know how she's doing, she said the vomiting had stopped but there was some bloody diarrhea. i guess i got her to the ER just in time; is that a sign of pancreatitis too? i wonder if she has something else. tomorrow i will speak to the doctor that took her yesterday.
so now i am breaking down again; all i keep thinking is i want to see her and hold her; but i think it's best for her that she doesnt see me; because that will make it only harder. i want to bring her stuff but maybe she will keep thinking that i am coming back; maybe it's best for her to start a new fresh life.
it's so hard you guys; you have no idea
