[capt_noonie]

I have to agree with pretty much all that has been posted already. I feel for you and your situation. No one should feel like that in their own house, and esp not a newlywed! If I were staying at someone else's house, I would try to be quiet, clean, help out even with dishes or cooking if I didn't have money. By this kid's behaviour he doesn't respect the help he's getting from you and your DH. Kids like him make me never want to have kids. And there are a LOT of those around here, makes me sick.

If no one else wants to take him in, why should you? Is your DH still deployed or is he back at home now? If he is still deployed I would take matters into your own hands and call the cops the next time this kid gets drunk. Let DH know that you need to be part of the marriage and not only his decisions are valid. You are his WIFE, not his secretary, not his employee, not his child, and you should demand that he treat you as such.

Last thing I want to say, here goes... You were very young when you met your DH and were still young when you married him. People grow up and sometimes they grow apart. If what he wants in life (or what he believes his duty is in life) is not what you want, it may be time to separate. Not all people believe in divorce, but sometimes it is an avenue some must go. If I were to think about if I married who I was with when I was 15! OMG I probably would have either killed him or myself.