A man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife...
Forsaking all others and keep yourselves only for each other...
This man has not learned that his family no longer comes before his wife because you ARE his family. My husband had to learn this the hard way and i think he finally has. All through college he put his family first, i would be to see him or be with him, but if he wanted to see his parents or brother that came BEFORE seeing me. he lived with them for a year and it crushed my soul because his mother is a crazy, manipulative, mental case, and his family treats him like crap. I hated that he would ever put his mother first after the stuff she's put him through. But he always always did and then finally after we got married, i got really really sick, i was in the hospital and in and out of drs and nobody knew what was wrong with me...we were supposed to go to Chicago to his older brother and wife's baby shower and i wasn't about to go with them being that sick and not being able to eat anything. his family never cared enough about my health or me to make sure i got good healthy meals and rest, his mother would drive me nuts on an 8 hour drive and they can't cook or care for others at all, his mom can't cook anything that she can't reheat somehow. so i stayed with my parents for that weekend and Mike went with his parents to Chicago....i let him go, i left his presence and went to my own home...he missed me, he hated being gone from me, and realized that from that point on I COME FIRST...so finally i have made him see that I'm the wife, I AM HIS FAMILY NOW..
for your situation, i would absolutely put my foot down, no person married less than 5 years should EVER for the sake of their marriage let someone else live with them or live with someone else. it should just be the two of you...i can't tell you how many times i've heard a friend that just got married and had a cousin or relative move in to get back on their feet...this is BULL CRAP. if someone really didn't have a place to go they would treat you better than that, they'd be out looking for a job 24/7 and they'd be paying their own rent, food, bills, ext. as soon as they could.
i would never ever under any circumstances allow another person to live in my home as a newly wed. it's a recipe for disaster in our marriage. we have enough struggles in our own finances and our own lives and schedules to not be dealing with some juvenile delinquent brat!!
you should get that child out of your house immediately and send him to an aunt or uncle. if you husband doesn't respect you enough to support your feelings or choices i'd say move out girl and show him that you are too good to take that kind of emotional beating from him or his family and if he can't learn to give up his screwed up family and all their baggage for you, then you simply will have no choice but to give up him...your life shouldn't be dragging through their mental and emotional mud...get outta that situation ASAP and if hubbie can't come along with you on your way out of this heck hole than leave him in the pit with the mess...he should support you if he really does love you as his wife whom he left his family to be with....
good luck, i'll be praying a lot for your situation and by golly stand up for yourself before you two end up on Dr. Phil!!! you are too good for dealing with a life like that!! |