Lots of people confused 'helping' with 'enabling'. Your hubby enabled his brother to be a loser still... but once you kicked him out, see how quickly he got on his feet? Your hubby needs to learn the line between helping and enabling! Maybe you should research them and sit down with hubby and tell him the difference and try to point out what he is doing and try to make him see how hes not helping actually at all, he's enabling. Maybe you could talk to Zach about how great the military is and he'll join when he's 18. It will give him a focus, a career and get him out of your house. It would probably help him CLEAN up his life and gain more respect for woman and other human beings and boundries.
Zach clearly had no real upbringing with the way his parents sound. Remember too, he was taught by his parents, you are trying to correct 17 years of bad upbringing in less than a year, it just won't happen in that short of a time. It does not help that you are not much older than him and almost like a parent to him. Hard on you both. I feel for you!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz |