This is goin to be a really long post, so I'm sorry but I'm feeling like I would rather be at work than home.
First let me give you a little background on my husbands family. His mom is a functioning alcoholic, his dad is a raging violent alcoholic who has been to jail numerous times because of it. He has one full brother (Pete) who has been to jail many times for drugs and other stupid things and one sister who is also a functioning alcohoic. I don't know how he isnt a nut case too but he's honestly the only normal one. I've been dating him since I was 15 (I'm now 22) and I always liked his mom and sister but couldn't stand his dad or brother, which he knew.
Ok so now let me tell you a little about Pete (the older brother), I haven't liked him since I met him 7 years ago. When I did meet him it was on his home coming from jail. He is the kind of guy that thinks that he his gods gift to women and if they don't feel that way towards him he thinks its ok to physicaly and emotionaly abuse them. Obviously not something I agree with. He decided that he needed to start his life over so 2 months after the DH and I got married he decided he was going to move out to California (where we lived) and start over. My DH asked if it was ok if Pete stayed with us for a week or two till he got on his feet, I said ok but made it very clear that I didn't want him there. So three months later Pete is still at my house and DH leaves for Iraq. Now that just me and Pete are there he thinks he should be the "man of the house" but he has lived under my roof for free, never paid rent, never helped with utilites, never bought food, pretty much I never got any money from him. So I was the "man of the house" because it was my house and I paid the bills. He didn't like this and on numerous occasions cursed me out. I told DH that I wanted him out of the house and he kept saying just hold on for me he has no where else to go. So I kept dealing with it. Eventually I got so tired of him I told him to get out or I was calling the cops and he did get out and amazingly found an appartment the next day. He owes me over $2,000 that I know I will never see.
So now let me tell you about Zach. He is my DH's half brother they have the same alcoholic dad but Zach's mom is a crack head and can barley take care of herself. So Zach was living with his sister and her family. Well he decided he needed to go to school and act like an idot high. He got caught and expelled so now he needs to go to a new school, hmmm where will he go. Of course to us, my DH asked me if he could come and I said absolutley not because I didn't want another episode of Pete. But my Dh said there was no where else for him to go so he's coming here. (There are a trillion aunts and uncles in that family he could have gone with. I really feel like my opinion means nothing in that house). So I've opened my house up to yet another brother. This boy is 17 and the most disrespectful ungracious person I have ever met. He thinks it's acceptable to do what he wants when he wants and doesn't have to follow the rules. He constantly talks about how he's F&*K that B*#&H, every time he sees a pretty girl, around me (I don't want to hear that have a little respect for women pig!) and he thinks he should be able to drink alcohol with no punishment (he's 17!) He told me that when he gets a girl friend down here he is going to have sex with her as loud as he can and he doesn't care what we think. And I work nights and sleep during the day and he doesn't seem to know what the word quiet means. My DH told me that Zach would have a job within his first week here and it's been 2 weeks and he's only filled out 3 applications. I'm so tired of this brat being in my house.
My DH and I have spent no time together since Zach got here we never just sit down and talk anymore, never go out, never do anything! I can honestly say that in two weeks I've grown to hate Zach, I know hate is a strong word but he is destroying me! I feel like my DH has a blind fold over his eyes to this entier situation just like he did with Pete, he doesn't take into consideration how I feel and is only worring about his family not our life together. He doesn't see anything wrong with Zach living his life the way he is and being rude and drinking. We've been married for 2 years on September 14th and due to deployments and brothers have only spent 14 months together alone. We just bought a new house but have yet to be able to enjoy it, I just want to be newlyweds and start a family of our own and not have to deal with other peoples problems.
What really set me off was what happened tonight. We were eating dinner and my DH accidentaly let it slip that when we were moving in in March Zach, who came to help us move, got so drunk after I went to sleep that he ended up throwing up. Now in March Zach had only been 17 for 2 months, I also told him absolutley NO ALCOHOL in my house because he had been talking about it all day, and my biggest pet peve in the world is people that don't know their limits and drink till they throw up. My DH knows this because I've gotten mad at him for it in the past. So this freaking kid went behind my back, drank, threw up and then both of them kept it a secret from me. I feel betrayed. Why does my DH not punish his behavior? I feel like an outsider in my house. I have to watch Zach play video games all night, I have to listen to Zach's music we eat what Zach wants, my husband does whatever Zach wants. I understand that my husband now has someone to "play" with but damn it you have bigger responsibilites than going out with him all the time. Isnt he supposed to be spoiling me, I am his wife.
So am I wrong for being mad about this whole situation? Am I wrong for not wanting him in my house? The whole drinking thing did happen before he was living with us and even before he got kicked out of school but still, if he can't respect me then when he's a guest in my hosue am I ever going to get respect? I'm ready to ask to go on a deployment just to get away from everything. Zach turns 18 in January and I have the ability to drug test him (I'm a lab tech) so if he screws up after Jaunary he's out but I don't know if I can make it till then, I don't want to be 22 and divorced because of this stupid kid. I've been crying so much over this I think I'm out of tears.
I told you it was going to be long! Sorry!