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Thanks so much for that I think I was just trying to "reflect" a bit. I feel I am a bit stuck on number 4 with the lonliness. I don't really talk to anybody about her death, because I feel I get judged like " your STILL not over it ". I come here to grieve and talk to people who understand the love you have for your dog
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Honey i totally understand your pain, i'm finally in stage 7 where i have a future hope in Sadie that her life will bring me joy that my other puppy i had for 14 years did. we lost our golden retriever to old age and i'm still finding times that i choke up and cry over her...i can't stand all the changes to my parent's yard and having people's chairs sitting on the concrete pad that used to be her kennel...it hurts me!! dad took down the fencing and has since redone all the sidewalk area from the house to the kennel area to make it all one big concrete porch like thing, i haven't seen it yet, but Sunday i'm going up there and my DH will be helping make rock garden areas along the new slab...i think dad did that to disguise the fact that there was a kennel slab there and now it's a porch area...it's going to kill me i just know it...but i'll have DH, mom and dad, sissy and her b/f and Sadie to distract me, but i might still shed a few tears when we pull into the drive...the first time i came home when Ruger died i ran up to my room to cry, i can't handle her being gone.....i miss her so much and loved her like family...it's been so hard. my mom had no idea that telling me dad had to put her down would hurt me so much but it has....
but i'm getting there now, and i can be stronger with my own puppy...the best thing ever happened with Sadie too...Ruger always lay down and crossed her paws right over left...dad always loved that about her...Sadie lay down one day to relax and it just so happened...right over left!!!! smiles, see things make you miss them but someday you'll be smiling when you do....
Much love and hugs coming at you