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Originally Posted by TOY  Rachel, I'm going to jump right in here and meddle, I think.
I have read your threads from the very beginning and at once even got caught up in the drama. I am in a bit of an observer mode right now so while I am in that mode, I'd like to share a few thoughts with you. You may take them in the spirit in which I am giving them or you may spurn them...regardless, I hope it will give you a bit more insight into those who are responding to you.
I don't know your age but I daresay I am quite a bit older than you...perhaps even old enough to be.....well, I do hope that is stretching it a bit! Your youth is apparent to me in your postings, through what you say, how you say it, and the energy you exert. (You may not understand that until you are in your own middle age years...LOL)
Have you ever talked to someone who never listened? What I mean is a person who is formulating how they are going to respond and what they are going to say before you ever finish your thought? They never really hear what you say because they are too busy already putting up defensive barriers. I fear that you are quite often doing that in your reading and posting.
You have some had some great wisdom shared with you from folks here who have so much experience with dogs and puppies and Yorkies in particular. I feel confident in telling you that because I am not one of those wise ones. I have only had my Yorkie puppy for a few months now and still have so much more to learn.
However, I do a couple of things when I post for advice and help. I learned this quite early in my postings before I bought my Yorkie because one of my first posts included weight of the puppy I hoped to get. I wasn't really seeking information then but boy did I get some "learning." I realized that there was so much I didn't know regardless of my education and degrees. There is such a vast difference in "book learning" and experience. In many instances, experience trumps and in my opinion, raising dogs is one of them.
I learned from my first few "painful" postings that I needed to think and rethink, read and reread before I hit the "submit" button to post especially when I was responding to or reacting to someone else's post. In most instances I remember to do that. Ever so often though, emotion overcomes my intelligence and I spout off before I think it through. Without exception, I always end up regretting it.
You need to step back and take a deep breath and try to read responses to your posts without being so defensive. These people wish you no harm. If it appears to you that they are always on your puppy's side, let me assure you that they are ALWAYS on the side of the puppy. (It reminds me a bit of when I married. My mother told my husband that she wanted him to know that whenever he and I argued, she would be on HIS side. It was meant as a joke but there was an underlying truth to it. What she really meant was she didn't want me running to her with complaints, etc.)
That's a bit where everyone is coming from, I think. They tried to council you and share their experiences but as almost everyone of us has done, you followed your own heart. That point is moot now because it is a "done" deal or as I liked to tell my students, you can't unscramble eggs.
However, you move on from this point. You will find people willing and eager to advise and help you but they will want to do it to help the puppy. They are the puppy's advocate, not yours. They speak for the one who cannot speak for herself...your Sadie. If you stop and think about it, would you want any less from a forum about Yorkies?
Many of these folks rescue abused Yorkies and help authorities close puppy mills and such. When you seek their advice by posting questions choose your words carefully. Regardless of your intent or what you meant to say, when you use words such as "evil" in reference to a Yorkie, you will have opened a floodgate of responses. They don't know you except through your words so you must carefully pose your questions or voice your thoughts.
They are not targeting you in a mean or rude or offensive manner intentionally. However, they are responding to what YOU write. For the most part these are wonderful people who have a genuine real interest in the welfare of your Yorkie, little Sadie. They are human adults though and being such are not perfect. You have to realize that when they offer their "told you so" rhetoric, they are responding much as parents to a child. It's just human nature, I think, to remind people that you did warn them about a potential problem.
Just try to remember that, give them that point much as you would your parents, and move on. If you've ever heard the expression, "Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater," you'll understand what I am suggesting. There is much to be learned and gained from the experience of the wise ones here. Don't fail to listen just because you first have to allow them the "told you so." If you can allow yourself to let down that defensive barrier, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at your interactions on the board.
I have been. |
Thanks for that, you sound so kind and wise there. Those kinds of posts don't offend me, i guess because you come at me with the kind dare I say it "grandmotherly" approach. you are correcting me, sure, but you aren't hurting my feelings or questioning my intelligence or my integrity in doing so. i don't mind other's opinions and i like to learn more about things, really i do, it's just that sometimes i will read a post on my thread and the wording and the way it comes across is very snide and sassy. there are almost always wonderful wonderful amounts of information and good knowledge in all posts, and then at the end they just have to slip in something a little snide. i don't understand that, it's like a person wants to educated and to advocate, then why on earth would you jeopardize the student's response to your information by throwing in a little snide remark just for spite???
i know i'm surely guilty of letting myself fly off the handle at people sometimes, but i try very hard to refrain and to hold my temper in on these threads. i am young, i'm 21 years old, a newlywed with lots to learn, but i was also raised by a good mother and grandmother who taught me a lot about life, common sense, frugality, conservativeness, and how to live the simple life. i usually listened to my grandmother, because she would always present her "thump on the head" as a loving, kind, gentle correction (much like positive training a puppy) and i almost NEVER listened to my mother due to her nagging, incessant, hurtful manners in which she tried to get me to do it her way. so i guess it only goes to show that i would have a much easier time listening to and learning from someone in a grandmotherly way than to have other repeat themselves over and over and over again about the same darn thing. sometimes it sounds like a nagging mother and as a teen i rebelled very very heavily against that type of instruction.
i don't mean to ever be rude and i appologize again if i sometimes slip and can't control my typing. i'm a kind hearted Christian young woman who is not only learning to love a puppy for the first time on my own (had a dog as a child that was dad's golden retriever hunting dog) but i'm learning a lot about life, working full time, and living as a married woman.
bear with me folks, i'm a work in progress and when God is finished perfecting me, i'll be in Heaven.
anyways, thanks again for the information, and whether i say it or not, i do read every post on here, i do take information and gain knowledge from ALL of them, and even when the snide remarks start to fly and sneak into your posts and i retaliate, i still am glad to have had some good information come out of your post.
hope we can all get along and learn together. i am growing and learning every day. don't mean to start drama, but it always seems to find me on YT anyways. hope we can finally be at peace and all just get along.
Thanks,
Rachel