I felt uncomfortable with euthanasia after having my first Yorkie euthanized at 16 years old. She had osteosarcoma in her jaw which made eating difficult, and she would bleed from the mouth occassionally. I thought she might have another month or so, or bleed out in front of me, at any moment.
So when my Maltese was nearing the end (tumor near the heart) I vowed to let him pass peacefully at home. I slept on the floor with him on days he wasn't doing well. The day came when I awoke to his whining. He had to pee but didn't have the strength any longer to get up. I helped him and reassured him and held him close. He was such a fighter, he wouldn't let go. His little body shook with agonal breaths for almost an hour before he finally lay still, and I knew he had gone. Again, this was not how I thought it would happen. It was not calm and peaceful, he did not go quietly into the night or morning. I was glad that I got to spend his final moments with him in the privacy of our home. But I think he would have been much more comfortable at the vets office, slowly induced to sleep.
Needless to say, I will euthanize my pets in the future when their quality of life is no longer good. It is the last nice thing I can do for them. The final decision of their lifetime, I can choose to send them peacefully and painlessly on their way. My final, loving gesture to say I care about you, and I will always love you, even in death, forever. |