I know how you feel but please see this as this as a blessing. God taught me a lesson many years ago when I had an unexpected pregnancy. I was so upset because I did not want another child at the time. I cried like a baby because I still had one in diapers and just couldn't imagine having another one. It was not until I went to the doctor and got some devastating news that made me realize how much I truly wanted this baby and how much love I had for it in such a short time (I was around 4 months pregnant). My whole world turned around when the doctor told me that one of my test come back as the baby having Trisomy 18 which is a chromosomal defect in which the baby usually does not survive. If they do they are severly physically and mentally retarded. I sat in his office in pure shock as he talked to me about aborting my pregnancy if the additional test that he was going to perform came back positive. That was 13 years ago and it brings tears to my eyes as I talk about it now. I ended up going through additional testing that came back normal (thank the lord). I still went through 9 months of wondering if my child was going to be healthy because of that one test. Well....he was born totally healthy and I thank God everyday. I feel like God was trying to teach me a lesson and that he wanted to show me just how fast I could loose everything. I didn't realize how much I truly wanted it until there was a chance that it was going to be gone. I know its a long story but I just wanted you to turn your situation into something positive. Things could be alot worse. Wish the best for you and your child...sorry for such a long vent session! |