I so feel your pain. I also lost my beloved Nurke on Friday. He was also 12 years old but relatively healthy. I lost him to a tragic accident. He had developed severe cateracts and stumbled into the pool. I found him shortly afterwards and tried desperately to revive him but to no avail. I haven't stopped crying since! I loved that little guy more than life itself and I feel so to blame!
How do we go on???