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JINANYC · 07-23-2009, 08:18 AM

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this, but Lola did the same thing with me...I was the one who spoke to her sternly when she did something wrong. I am the one who bathes her, brushes her coat, brushes her teeth, gives her medicine and was very persisitent and constant in training her. My fiance and family members are the ones that just played with her all day, so of course she was more attached to them then she was to me. I never hit her though...I sometimes clapped my hands and said "bad girl" but never spanked her. When I first had her, she had Giardia, so I had to wash her constantly and give her medicine 2x a day, so from day one, she knew me as the one that does the bad things to her while my fiance is the one who got to play with her.

I also was home with her all day so she was so excited to see my fiance when he came home from work.

I did see that she was my lap dog...I started to give her treats and she knows me as the one who gives her them. If I say treat, she gets excited for some chicken jerky. If I say cheese, she runs to the fridge waiting for a piece.

She also knows that I am the one who rubs her tummy, so now when I come home, she immediately runs to me and then lays on the floor and wants me to rub her belly.

You cant give up on him. He is freightened from you and probably is not happy with you, but you need to start slow and be consistent. I would come home and hug him and kiss him and say "good boy" as much as you can. I would pet him and pick him up and have him on your lap. I would also give him treats as often as you can (small bites...I give lola small pieces of string cheese and I break the jerky in 1/3rds so I am constantly giving her).

You need to find a way to bond with him....she knows I am the one who will still brush her teeth, wipe her butt, brush her, clean her eyes, give her heart worm medicine, but she also knows I am the one who takes her to daycare, gives her the treats, rubs her tummies and allows her to sleep with me with my fiance is away.

It will take a very very very long time, but if you have the patience and the will, it can work. Constant positive reinforcement is what you need. He will come around...you just need patience.

As for potty training...lola is 99% trained. She has ruined my beige carpet and sofa (completely ruined!!), but its OK, because now when she sleeps with me she holds herself until I take her out, but if she is in her xpen, she knows to pee on the wee wee pad. I did not want her crated all day...so maybe if you try to put him in an xpen instead of a tiny cage, or give him reign of the kitchen (slowly of course...confine him to an area and expand the area every week little by little and decreasing the wee wee pads) He will get the idea of where to pee.

Also, when you come home take him for a walk right away...go out for a long walk. Then 2 hours later, take him out for a walk again...keep doing that if you want to potty train outside. I did that with Lola and she only pees if she is stuck home in the playpen during the day or at night.

The love she has for me did not come overnight, but she adores me the same, just in a different way than my fiance. Having Giardia in the beginning put a little crink in our relationship since its contagious, I was constantly cleaning and couldnt give her a ton of toys and she had special food that she had to eat, but she knows I love her and will spoil her to pieces, but she also knows that there are rules, and I am the enforcer of them.

Good Luck!!

07-23-2009, 08:18 AM	#21
JINANYC Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New York City Posts: 101	I am so sorry that you are dealing with this, but Lola did the same thing with me...I was the one who spoke to her sternly when she did something wrong. I am the one who bathes her, brushes her coat, brushes her teeth, gives her medicine and was very persisitent and constant in training her. My fiance and family members are the ones that just played with her all day, so of course she was more attached to them then she was to me. I never hit her though...I sometimes clapped my hands and said "bad girl" but never spanked her. When I first had her, she had Giardia, so I had to wash her constantly and give her medicine 2x a day, so from day one, she knew me as the one that does the bad things to her while my fiance is the one who got to play with her. I also was home with her all day so she was so excited to see my fiance when he came home from work. I did see that she was my lap dog...I started to give her treats and she knows me as the one who gives her them. If I say treat, she gets excited for some chicken jerky. If I say cheese, she runs to the fridge waiting for a piece. She also knows that I am the one who rubs her tummy, so now when I come home, she immediately runs to me and then lays on the floor and wants me to rub her belly. You cant give up on him. He is freightened from you and probably is not happy with you, but you need to start slow and be consistent. I would come home and hug him and kiss him and say "good boy" as much as you can. I would pet him and pick him up and have him on your lap. I would also give him treats as often as you can (small bites...I give lola small pieces of string cheese and I break the jerky in 1/3rds so I am constantly giving her). You need to find a way to bond with him....she knows I am the one who will still brush her teeth, wipe her butt, brush her, clean her eyes, give her heart worm medicine, but she also knows I am the one who takes her to daycare, gives her the treats, rubs her tummies and allows her to sleep with me with my fiance is away. It will take a very very very long time, but if you have the patience and the will, it can work. Constant positive reinforcement is what you need. He will come around...you just need patience. As for potty training...lola is 99% trained. She has ruined my beige carpet and sofa (completely ruined!!), but its OK, because now when she sleeps with me she holds herself until I take her out, but if she is in her xpen, she knows to pee on the wee wee pad. I did not want her crated all day...so maybe if you try to put him in an xpen instead of a tiny cage, or give him reign of the kitchen (slowly of course...confine him to an area and expand the area every week little by little and decreasing the wee wee pads) He will get the idea of where to pee. Also, when you come home take him for a walk right away...go out for a long walk. Then 2 hours later, take him out for a walk again...keep doing that if you want to potty train outside. I did that with Lola and she only pees if she is stuck home in the playpen during the day or at night. The love she has for me did not come overnight, but she adores me the same, just in a different way than my fiance. Having Giardia in the beginning put a little crink in our relationship since its contagious, I was constantly cleaning and couldnt give her a ton of toys and she had special food that she had to eat, but she knows I love her and will spoil her to pieces, but she also knows that there are rules, and I am the enforcer of them. Good Luck!!