Oh Lou
. I am so, so sorry! I know how very dear he was to you, and this is just heartbreaking. No matter what, it is so hard to let go. And the pain can be so consuming and the emotions so confusing. When you can, remember the beautiful life you gave him as a treasured, cherished, spoiled, and glorious fur baby - you gave him that gift. You gave him the best life he could have imagined. RIP dear, sweet Ivan.
Gigantic hugs to you, my friend.