Glad you guys can ~somewhat~ get me to see the humor in the situation. I'm on my way there, but not yet.
The bat is a gonner. He is on his way to a lab to get his brains tested for rabies. I do feel bad for the thing, I'm sure he was just lost, but since he landed on me he has to get tested, or I have to just go get the rabies shots.
Should get the results in two to three days.