I feel for you Elaine. Stand firm on what you say. That's key.
Once he knows you cave in he'll have you by the

You sound like a great mother and it's usually the Mom's who
get the bunt of things. Dosen't matter how much you do for
your kids. I hate to say it's the age but I do believe it is.
Stand firm, hold your grounds and rules. It's your house
and it's your terms. If he doesn't come around I would
go as a family and talk to someone. Perhaps he is holding
something in and dosen't know how to deal with it properly
and it's making him misreble. Don't take it personally. I know that's
hard because I raised three and it was not all fun and roses.
Kids had mouth's back then too