Ughhhhhhhhh...I would be so far beyond angry as well. Actually, my in-laws did pretty much the same thing 15 years ago...on a slightly smaller scale though. My family isn't affluent by any means, my mom pretty much raised myself and my brother alone as my dad passed when I was 11. She spent every last penny she could to make sure I had a nice wedding. I wanted small as BIG is not my style. Anyway, my mother-in-law pretty much demanded all 5 of her children be in the wedding in some way. We ended up having to pay for their tuxes and to have the girls' dresses made. And to top it off, they didn't do a d@^^n thing for the rehearsal dinner...my brother and his wife paid for everything. If it weren't for my family (and the fact I had 2 jobs while in college to help pay), we would have probably have had to go to the JOP. I was appalled at my future in-laws lack of responsibility and respect but am so thankful to have a family that went out of their way to make sure my day was special. I am sure your daughter feels the same... you are a wonderful dad and a class act not to have blown your top when all this was taking place.
Most importantly, your daughter was gorgeous...I am sure she will never forget all that
YOU did to make her wedding day so very special.
HUGS!!