I normally don't come down here and post my "problems" but boy I feel like I was just hit by a brick! Here's the story and I would like your opinion.....
My daughter who is in 8th grade had her new friend from school over today. They asked to go to a boy's house who was having friends over and lives about a mile from us. So I drove them over and dropped them off at about 6:30 tonight. The family of this boy is really nice and they have a finished basement that they allow the kids to hang out in with a pool table and other fun stuff for the kids to do. I have never had a problem with my daughter going there and I allow her to stay out until around 10 or 1030 on a weekend. My older son (22) also knows this family and he also sent a lot of time there when he was younger too so I am very comfortable with her going there to hang out with her friends.
The girls hung out last weekend together and I spoke to the dad. I gave him my cell number and told him that our house phone is pretty much used just for faxing and if they wanted to reach me ANYTIME to call my cell. So tonight as I am walking out the door to pick up them at 10:30, I see a car parked in my driveway. I don't think much of it figuring it is one of my older son's friends blocking me in the driveway I begin backing out. All of a sudden I have a woman that I have never met in my entire life at the window of my car screaming that she is looking for her daughter. She goes on to say that she has been calling my
house phone for 5 hours and nobody answers. I am totally stunned by the fact she is screaming at me in front of my house while I am sitting in my car. She asks me were her daughter is at since she is not answering her cell phone and I am not answering my house phone~~~that we only use for faxing.
I tell her that I am on my way to pick the girls up and that sends her into another screaming fit that I am now a bad mother allowing my daughter to stay out until 10:30. I had no idea that my daughter's friend had not told her parents were she was going. I assumed that since they were here getting dressed, straightening hair, makeup, etc that her parents knew she was going with my daughter over to the boys house to hang out. I tried to calmly explain that the girls were fine, I knew the parents of where they were at and that I was on my way there to pick them up. After trying to talk nicely to her and just getting screamed at I told her that I had had enough and didn't appreciate being spoken to my like this. She told me that she
could talk to me any way she wanted, jumped into her new Mustang and speeds off by no exaggeration~100 mph going home after telling me that I am a bad parent.
*If this was my daughter and I was upset that she was not were she told me she was I would have told the parent that I would follow them to pick my kid up. But she jumped into her car and sped away?????
Now I am furious and almost in tears! I cannot even tell you how many of my sons friends consider me their second mom. I coached cheer leading, was team mom for football, cub scout and girl scout leader, volunteered for all of the kids stuff when they were growing up and all of those young adults still see me and hug me and tell me how much they miss me and how I was always good to them. I was just a chaperon for my daughter cheer leading competition and the kids fought over who would be in our room. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs~but I do swear
There have been times that both my sons friends have stopped by just to say "Hi" to me.
I have never in my 44 yrs been told I am a bad parent! I have taken my kids friends with us on vacations because I am just a nice normal person and all the kids parents trust myself and my husband. I have always been told by other parents that I have very well mannered children who are always polite and they can tell they were raised right.
So thinking that maybe the dad will be more reasonable, I pick the girls up and tell her friend that she needs to go home and I will explain to the dad what happened. I go to the door thinking we are going to have a civil adult conversation and now he is yelling at me! He won't let me get a word in to even remind him that I gave him a different number to reach me ANYTIME and that HIS daughter didn't tell them she was going out for the night. He then yells at me, says that I allowed them to go to a
PARTY of someone I didn't even know and that he will never see my face again because his daughter is never going to be allowed at my horrible home again! That they have trust "issues" with their daughter and that since she has been coming to my house (last weekend and today) that they are not able to reach her by phone and there is "something up with this house" MY HOUSE!
I am so upset right now!
Seriously, my daughter is now in tears because she has lost a friend and because of the way I was treated. I am in tears because of the way that I was talked to. WTH! These kids are not babies and I do not feel that 10:30 on a Friday night is unreasonable for 14 yr old kids. I dropped them off, I know the parents and I picked them up. They were not at a party or wondering the streets. My daughter has a cell phone and I talked to her several times during the time she was gone at 7, 8:30, 9:15 and then again at 10 when she asked to stay a little longer. How was I suppose to know their kid lied to them and was avoiding their phone calls? BTW~she has had other friends here before plenty of times and I have not had to make phone calls to parents about them going to a friends house. The kids always just do it themselves~they are 14 yrs old not 5! I feel they need to be responsible and should be capable of letting their parents know were they will be at.
Now what am I suppose to do after having the door SLAMMED in my face after being told what a horrible parent I am?