Hello-- I am new here and I guess my first entry will be for my beloved Smokey. It is a little therapuetic to be able to write something where people will understand my pain. I loved him, and the guilt I feel becasue I left him with people I thought would take care of him.
I know it was difficult for them also so I don't blame them. It was an accident. It is difficult to find closure because he is till at the vet. I need to decide quickly to bury him or cremate him. I just don't know. All I know is that I never felt such pain for an animal. I have been immobalized and not able to sleep because he always curled up next to me.
When I reach for him he is not there. I just don't know what to do. I just want Smokey to know that I loved him, and that I did not leave him. I was able to see him briefly before he passed on, but just seeing him and know that he was in so much pain for four hours, slowing dying it is just more than I can bare.
The tears are flowing, but my heart is forever void of my little baby. I will never find another Smokey. If anyone can believe it, he was so much like me. He was a silly little dog, and he brought so much laughter to my soul. I feel so empty without him. I don't know if I should get another dog, I just don't know, the pain is to deep now. I know that I have to get over this some how. I just pray that God is holding my baby and and letting him know that one day mommie will join him.