I think I know which pad holders you are talking about and if you go to the following link you'll see there are many poor reviews on it. It does not really prevent the dog from tearing at the pad because the pad is not secured around the entire perimeter. Is this what you have?
http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2751790
I've also read a few posts on YT where people have given this product poor reviews.
The one I use is a tray that holds the pee pad down inside of it and then locks it into place. I think it is much more difficult for a puppy to tear it up this way because all sides of the pad are held down. Here is the link to this product. I love it, but I'm definitely not saying it will work for everyone! Just trying to help with the tearing of the pad issue.
http://www.petsmart.com/product/inde...ductId=2752019
I have no suggestions for separation anxiety but I do hope someone else can help. Good luck!