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brownminerva · 02-03-2009, 03:48 PM

Hello,
I am so sad for you and am still crying as I write to you, as it also brings back memories for me about my dear Nik who crossed the Bridge on 11/24/08. Like you I felt so empty and wanted her back so much. Nothing seemed worth doing any more and I felt I would never recover. But it is now over 2 months and I must say I am a lot better and can do things again. There is hope!

However, it doesn't take much to set me off crying again and for that moment feel as if she had just left me.
Yesterday I plucked up enough courage to mount some of her things (photos/harness/pawprint-hair tress etc) in a frame as a memento. Perhaps you might be able to do the same later as it does seem to give some closure and have memories of her collected in one place.
I can well understand your dream being so real as I had a very vivid dream myself soon after Nik died. I too could not believe it was not true when I woke up and wanted to tell everyone. You at least were able to hold your little one again and that must show that she was with you again to comfort you. Now you are sad but I am sure when she was there you were happy in your dream world.
You will feel better before too long even though it feels now that you never will come to terms with her loss. We have to go through the grieving process and this takes time. It is true that others who are not pet lovers and have not experienced the loss DO NOT GET IT!!! But those who do understand are so comforting.
So I do know how you feel and am so sorry for your loss, but it will feel better in time. Min Min is happy and at peace now, and only we feel sad. You loved her when she was here and the lovely memories will in time replace the sadness.
(My dream for those who may wish to read it : I walked into my living room and there was my cleaning lady standing by a tall 'Scrooge' desk, and my boyfriend sitting on a dining chair at the other end of the room - holding my dear 'Nik'.(Or her clone!) My BF said he had paid the lady $1100 for the dog - by credit card. I carried 'Nik' outside and put her down for a pee on the grass as I usually did when she was alive. She immediately ran away fast and I was so mad with myself and told myself 'how could I do that as it was not my Nik but some image of her'. She then took off and flew away as a large white bird with a black head. I was so sad, but a man came by and said 'put your hand out with a treat in it and she will come back'. She did come back and changed back into 'Nik'. I then went back into the room and I gave the dog back to the lady and said I did not want the dog as it was not my Nik. I asked for a credit on the card also. And so the dream ended. What that meant I do not know, but the dream was so vivid and detailed I could not forget it. It seems I knew it was not my dog, so at least my subconscious must have accepted that she was gone. End of dream!)
Bye for now and keep coming to the site to let us know how you are doing.

02-03-2009, 03:48 PM	#22
brownminerva Inactive Account Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: california Posts: 110	To Min Min's Mum Hello, I am so sad for you and am still crying as I write to you, as it also brings back memories for me about my dear Nik who crossed the Bridge on 11/24/08. Like you I felt so empty and wanted her back so much. Nothing seemed worth doing any more and I felt I would never recover. But it is now over 2 months and I must say I am a lot better and can do things again. There is hope! However, it doesn't take much to set me off crying again and for that moment feel as if she had just left me. Yesterday I plucked up enough courage to mount some of her things (photos/harness/pawprint-hair tress etc) in a frame as a memento. Perhaps you might be able to do the same later as it does seem to give some closure and have memories of her collected in one place. I can well understand your dream being so real as I had a very vivid dream myself soon after Nik died. I too could not believe it was not true when I woke up and wanted to tell everyone. You at least were able to hold your little one again and that must show that she was with you again to comfort you. Now you are sad but I am sure when she was there you were happy in your dream world. You will feel better before too long even though it feels now that you never will come to terms with her loss. We have to go through the grieving process and this takes time. It is true that others who are not pet lovers and have not experienced the loss DO NOT GET IT!!! But those who do understand are so comforting. So I do know how you feel and am so sorry for your loss, but it will feel better in time. Min Min is happy and at peace now, and only we feel sad. You loved her when she was here and the lovely memories will in time replace the sadness. (My dream for those who may wish to read it : I walked into my living room and there was my cleaning lady standing by a tall 'Scrooge' desk, and my boyfriend sitting on a dining chair at the other end of the room - holding my dear 'Nik'.(Or her clone!) My BF said he had paid the lady $1100 for the dog - by credit card. I carried 'Nik' outside and put her down for a pee on the grass as I usually did when she was alive. She immediately ran away fast and I was so mad with myself and told myself 'how could I do that as it was not my Nik but some image of her'. She then took off and flew away as a large white bird with a black head. I was so sad, but a man came by and said 'put your hand out with a treat in it and she will come back'. She did come back and changed back into 'Nik'. I then went back into the room and I gave the dog back to the lady and said I did not want the dog as it was not my Nik. I asked for a credit on the card also. And so the dream ended. What that meant I do not know, but the dream was so vivid and detailed I could not forget it. It seems I knew it was not my dog, so at least my subconscious must have accepted that she was gone. End of dream!) Bye for now and keep coming to the site to let us know how you are doing.