Melissa,
In response to your "could I be ruining his appetite with the Nutri-Cal" .... Here is what ChattiesMom wrote to me a while back:
"One more thought - I have found that giving just a tiny bit of Nutri-cal (I'm talking English Pea size) will help boost the appetite. Too much will raise the blood sugar level enough to take away the appetite."
Maybe try giving a smaller amount of the Nutri-Cal before his meal, then if he won't eat after ~1 hr, try giving him a little more Nutri-Cal to supplement.
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