[celstu1]

Everything you have done in your life has led you to the person you are today. Even if it was something horrible, you turned out to be a wonderfully loving, caring person.

I am 32 years old. About 13 years ago I did something I was VERY ashamed of. Its not that horrible to others I'm sure and I've long been forgiven and I've forgiven myself. I was young and angry at the time. My parents divorced when I was 18, my mom initiated it and I was such a daddys girl. I was soo mad at my mom for breaking my family apart. Very very angry. I moved out with my dad and went to my moms work to tell her the day I did it so when she got home I was gone. About 6 months later, my mom had a problem with my current boyfriend and she forbid my boyfriend in her house. A week later she had a hysterectomy. My youngest brother lived with her in the house we grew up in. I did NOTHING to help her. NOTHING. She was in pain after having surgery and I didn't help with driving my little brother to football or work, I didn't do any grocery shopping or even call to ask how she was doing.

Thats HORRIBLE! I lived with that for years.

I had to learn to let it go. My mom forgave me and Ive forgiven myself. I now know my mom did what she had to do, I understand now that Im older and more mature. Back then I was just a angry kid who didnt understand at all.

I have made my life motto to NEVER do anything I will regret or feel ashamed to tell someone else. This is such an easy motto to live by. I have no secrets (not that I tell the world my life). Even things that were not the smartest for me to do I no longer regret it. Why? Because I did it. At the time I did it knowing what I was doing. It forces me to make better daily decisions for myself, so I don't have to have any regrets or shame later down the road. Not to mention, it seems that every action has a reaction, even if its 20 years later it can creep back up.

Forgive yourself and move on with your life... its too short to have regrets and shame weighing you down.